On the day we send our children off to preschool, we struggle with the reality that they are still so young, yet this is their first step to independence. Having lived through that first step (was it harder for us or them?) we have watched them grow and become more and more independent along the way. Yet, they are still little ones and rely on us for so much. Our children started this move toward independence long before preschool. At Parenting Power we always remind ourselves that, even when they are very little and don’t have control over much, children can and do control what goes in and what comes out! With so many of our clients asking us about eating and mealtime struggles, we decided to pass on some “Tools to Use” about eating.



1. Get a check up. If you are concerned about your child’s eating habits, please check with your doctor first to make sure your child is healthy before implementing any changes. Once you know that your child is healthy you can make a plan. Now remember, the plan needs to be something you can realistically implement and you also need to share that new plan with your child before it ever starts. Even 18 month-olds understand what you are asking.

“One of the hardest things for me to do was to relax my attitude about food.” One of our clients, Sharon told us. “I have decided to choose not to get into the battle now that I know that there is very little my kids can control in their lives, and food is one of them.”

2. Make a meal schedule and stick to it. If children nibble all day, they won't be hungry at meal times. With this in mind, also try to find out when your child is most hungry. For example, many children are hungry at 4:30/5:00, so we give them a snack so they can make it until dinner and then get frustrated when they won't eat. Why not give them "dinner" at 4:30 - i.e. some protein, veggies, etc. Then they can sit down to a snack at 6:00 when the rest of the family eats. But be very careful here---if they don't eat the food at 4:30 then they don't get the yogurt at 6:00, they get the same meal.

Of course, this, and any other strategy, will only work if you are CONSISTENT. Never forget how smart your children are, and if you are inconsistent they will test even harder and longer.

3. Serve smaller portions. This makes it seem less overwhelming for our children.

4. Evaluate your child's food intake on a weekly basis vs. a daily one. This can keep us from getting stressed out at every meal.

5. Provide choices when possible. Whatever the choice is you must agree to it. Example - would you like green beans or peas tonight? If they can't make a choice, then they are choosing to have you make the choice.

6. Involve your child in the preparation of food. Even high-chair bound toddlers can rip lettuce or stir a sauce. This often increases their interest in the meal.

Keep in mind that, as our children gain more independence, their need to control food intake usually decreases. When they are in high school and eating us out of house and home, we may look back on this time with fondness. For more information on eating and other parenting solutions, contact us at want to know more askus@parentingpower.ca.

PARENTING POWER is a family resource and education company offering in-home workshops and individual coaching for families seeking to create a more satisfying and productive relationship with their children. For more information call 281.2524 or visit www.parentingpower.ca.